Bomberman

This classic blast from the past has lost some of its flare.

Platform: Nintendo Entertainment System, Game Boy Advance
Published by: Hudson Soft
Developed by: Hudson Soft
Genre: Action
Players: 1
US Release Date: 1987
ESRB Rating: Everyone - Mild Cartoon Violence

Story: As with many early video games, Bomberman lacks any form of deep, significant storyline, instead focusing on addicting, arcade-style gameplay. Bomberman is a robot worker who has tired of his monotonous existence in an underground bomb factory. He decides to throw away his old life to pursue a rumor that robots who escape the factory are transformed into humans upon reaching the surface. Unfortunately for Bomberman, he must first navigate a 50 floor maze of bricks, swarming with enemies he must blast into oblivion with his trusty bombs (which I assume are stolen company property).

The story doesn't deviate beyond these basic building blocks. To be honest, back in the '80s, no one really cared - they just wanted to blow shit up.

Escaping: You're doin' it wrong.

Graphics: Anyone expecting Bomberman to include hyper-realistic graphics, saturated in a lush color palette obviously missed out on the NES, and maybe shouldn't be reading my articles without parental consent. For those of you who are old enough to have enjoyed what the NES had to offer, you already know that there isn't a lot to Bomberman's visual presentation, beyond endless walls of drab bricks, goofy-looking enemies in various basic shades, and the frequent, cross-shaped blast of fiery, bomb-spawned destruction. Basic animations deliver exactly what they're intended to: enemies (and Bomberman) die with cartoony anguish etched into their faces, bricks disintegrate into nonexistence upon being blasted, and Bomberman waddles across the screen with all the finesse of a burnt-out, middle-aged, workaholic spending his lunch break at the company gym.

Despite the lack of any mind-blowing contributions to video game graphics, there is one major feature that sticks out about Bomberman: the eponymous character of the game, Bomberman established his signature look early on. Bomberman's classic appearance has remained, for the most part, unaltered, despite his jump from the NES onto almost every major gaming system since 1987. Without this introduction, perhaps the Bomberman of today would be without his unmistakable anime-inspired eyes, ball hands, white helmet, and stupid-looking antenna.

Despite his most genuine efforts to enforce justice, Bomberman's destruction of his underground factory made him an easy target for Homeland Security.

Sound/Music: Not much here, to be honest. Music is a standard, NES, bleeps-and-bloops fanfare, with little variety and surprisingly little staying power, despite the maddening repetition. The sound of Bomberman's detonating bombs is appropriate, and the "bling" noise when you acquire a power-up is cheerful and bright. However, the incessant tapping of Bomberman's footsteps might drive you to the point of intentionally killing the little bastard, which will leave you scratching your head in confusion when he lets out a death cry that can only be described as a mix between a duck call and a Japanese dirt bike.

Listen around 4:00. You'll get what I mean.

Gameplay: Bomberman is built on a user-friendly, action-oriented, arcadey gameplay style. As Bomberman, you must blast your way through a gauntlet of 50 brick mazes, teeming with various monsters, all possessing the ability to inexplicably kill you with a single touch. You may defend yourself by dropping bombs, which will explode after a set amount of time, destroying any bricks or enemies within their blast radius. However, each stage also has a 200 second time limit; if the timer reaches zero, then swarms of difficult enemies invade the screen to kill you. Fortunately for Bomberman, power-ups are randomly hidden within bricks in each stage, capable of giving him new abilities to fight off his enemies. Eventually, Bomberman is able to walk through brick walls, detonate bombs when he pleases, and strategically place up to ten explosives on the screen. Constantly upgrading Bomberman's abilities is a surprisingly satisfying journey.

Unfortunately, by the time you've collected enough power-ups to obtain all the available abilities, the game has lost most of its challenge, and therefore most of its fun. On top of the disappointing challenge curve is the absolutely atrocious enemy AI (or lack thereof). Although some of the more "challenging" enemies of the later game will give chase to Bomberman if they see him, most will still mindlessly charge into the path of an exploding bomb; this, paired with the giant mess of power-ups already accumulated by this point in the game, almost completely eliminates any need to fear death from your enemies. Essentially, enemies will begin to serve only as a minor annoyance, rushing ahead of each other with an idiotic determination to become bomb fodder. Even the ghosts of Pac-Man had the sense to flee once Pac-Man had eaten a special dot. In fact, the biggest challenges you'll probably face are: (a) accidentally trapping yourself in between a wall and a bomb in the early stages; (b) accidentally bombing a doorway, which will release new hordes of annoying enemies in your direction; and (c) keeping yourself interested enough to plod through all 50, quasi-identical levels. Players are given the opportunity to play a "bonus" stage after every five normal levels, but these also grow old, as their only purpose is to allow the player to go on a murderous rampage in hopes of earning extra lives, which are completely unneeded. Yawn.

Bomberman's Jesus Bomb crucifies another enemy.

Overall: While Bomberman is by no means a bad game, it really can't be called a great game either. Mediocre at best, Bomberman follows its formula almost too well, growing stale quickly and completely. While later iterations have added multiplayer, new upgrades, and boss battles, I feel that these areas were not where the critical flaws of the first game resided. Rather, instead of adding more, I feel Bomberman on NES should have offered less: cutting the number of levels in half, or even by a third would have made this experience far more enjoyable; offering players less power-ups would keep the challenge of the later enemies pertinent, and would require players to utilize some form of strategy to overcome adversaries.

While it may sound like I'm dishonoring and discrediting what Bomberman did for gaming (trust me, I'm not), I can't bring myself to call a game "great" simply for nostalgia's sake. However, I can confidently say that I'm glad Hudson Soft continued the Bomberman series after this incarnation: I consider some of this title's sequels and spin-offs among my favorite games of all time, and none of them would exist without Bomberman's foray onto the original Nintendo Entertainment System.

Score (out of 10): 6

Puyo Pop

A puzzle game that will have you addicted before you can say "campy."

Platform: Game Boy Advance, Neo Geo Pocket Color, N-Gage
Version Reviewed: Game Boy Advance
Published by: THQ/Sega
Developed by: Sonic Team
Genre: Puzzle
Players: 1-4
US Release Date: October 5, 1999
ESRB Rating: Everyone

Story: Puzzle games, as a whole, have come a long way in terms of story. Normally heavily-steeped in the realm of science-fiction or fantasy, we find ourselves chaining together multicolored gems to blast our enemies with fireballs or jumping through walls via space-time portals. While character development might still take a backseat to gameplay, it can safely be said that puzzle games now primarily utilize protagonists undergoing some sort of conflict or quest. This, in itself, is a gigantic step away from the impersonal falling, gray blocks of yesteryear - finally, we puzzle fans are able to take control (to a degree) of a hero with a purpose. No matter how kitschy many of these so-called "stories" may seem, it's at least something.

With this being said, the story of Puyo Pop is as kitschy as they come. Apparently, Puyo Pop is part of the Puyo Puyo series of puzzle games, all starring a young sorceress Arle and her fat, bunny-ish pet named Carbuncle - this being the first Puyo Puyo game I've played, I had no preexisting connection with these characters. Arle and Carbuncle travel their fantasy setting in complete, oblivious glee, and are randomly challenged to puzzle battles by a plethora of insane characters that would fit in with the cast of any teen anime series. In fact, Puyo Pop's story is most easily-digested if you play it expecting just that: an extremely campy, goofy, sugar-coated anime show. This is a Japanese game, and Sonic Team does not want you to forget it. Since there really isn't much in terms of deep story or character development, forgetting might prove easier than they anticipated.

...a wild Pokémon appeared! What? Wrong game? Damn.

Graphics: Drawing heavily from the pool of easily-accessible anime artist talent in Japan, Puyo Pop is a festival of bright, explosive colors and gigantic, glimmering eyeballs. While by no means impressive, the static "cutscenes" still make great use of the Game Boy Advance's extensive color palette. Battle screens come alive with a multitude of little details and animations that any puzzle fan can appreciate. Don't prepare to be dazzled, but Puyo Pop certainly knows how to keep things bright and fun.

Wait until you see Arle's REAL excited face.

Sound/Music: Puyo Pop's soundtrack consists of all that is bouncy and light-hearted, wreaking absolute havoc on the Game Boy Advance's horns and chime synthesizers. Regardless of its bubblegum-sweet sensibilities, I found myself unintentionally bobbing my head along to some of the tracks each time I booted up Puyo Pop. High-energy, and never dark or sinister in any way, Puyo Pop's music is a fitting addition to this game's cotton candy theme.

Going hand-in-hand with Puyo Pop's musical score is the game's sound effects, which sound like they were borrowed from an early Super Nintendo RPG; note that this isn't a bad thing. Sonic Team has even included tiny voice clips (in original Japanese!) during battle, breathing even more life into the already frantic fights. These vocal bits alone add another ten points to Puyo Pop's already appropriate placement on the "kitsch" scale.

Gameplay: The battle elements of Puyo Pop play almost exactly like a relatively-unknown Windows game, called Qwirks (from Tetris creator, Alexey Pajitnov) that I used to have as a kid. A set of two, colored blobs are dropped into the play area; matching four or more of these pieces, or making chains will remove them from the play field and drop clear "blocks" onto your opponents side, which will prevent them from creating sets or chains of their own. If you or your opponent's screen becomes too full to fit another block or blob, that person loses the match. It may sound basic (and in truth, the concept is), but each stage you unlock yields new enemies, who become progressively harder as the game goes on. The in-game tutorials are worked seamlessly into the experience and prove to be helpful practice for future opponents, giving the game a smooth learning curve. The whole gameplay experience is a prime example of the key elements true puzzle fans look for in a game: simplistic controls, pick-up-and-play concepts, and a gauntlet of intense, fast-paced challenges. Additional time with the story mode will unlock new obstacles and a bonus challenge mode, but the real fun is available if you have a link cable: a single game cartridge allows up to four players to duke it out, Puyo Pop style, giving this already addictive title some great replay value.

Forget swords and magic - you know it's on when the blobs start falling!

Overall: If you decide to take on Puyo Pop, I hope you have your tent and sleeping bag ready, because this title is beyond "campy." While many will be turned off early by the cutesy art style, bouncy music, and sickly-sweet dialogue, I urge you to stick around for what is, at its heart, one of the most entertaining puzzle games of the Game Boy Advance's time. The core gameplay is solid as a rock, and is sure to not disappoint those looking for an exciting, high-paced puzzle experience - even if it is drenched in an extra-large helping of kitsch-syrup.

Score (out of 10): 8.5

Sonic the Hedgehog

Giving speed freaks their fix since 1991.

Platform: Sega Genesis, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS (Sonic Classic Collection), Xbox 360 (Arcade)
Version Reviewed: Sega Genesis
Published by: Sega
Developed by: Sonic Team
Genre: Platformer
Players: 1
US Release Date: June 23, 1991
ESRB Rating: Everyone

Story: The story of the original Sonic the Hedgehog game can easily be lost in the avalanche of sequels, spin-offs, and various media surrounding the franchise's mythology. However, returning to the first Sonic Team-developed game, we find the story to be delightfully simple, in a Mario-esque way: Sonic, our blue, super-fast, hedgehog protagonist, must battle the villainous Dr. Robotnik (sometimes known as Dr. Eggman) for control of the Chaos Emeralds, which will consequently save the wildlife inhabitants of South Island. Said creatures have been transformed by the evil Ph.D. into robot "badnik" versions of their previous selves, intent on killing Sonic. However, there is one major problem with this classic story of good vs. evil: Sonic has taken the time to put on a pair of red shoes, but what is his excuse for not throwing on pants as well? He must not mind the breeze down there while traveling at super-speed. Yikes.

Little known fact: Dr. Robotnik always rides into battle blasting his favorite Journey cassette tape.

Graphics: Sonic the Hedgehog occurred during the 16-bit era of gaming, and makes some great use of the Genesis' engine. Colors are bright and rich, creating some excellent environmental textures (take note of the twisting runways and loops). Environments themselves are designed in such a way that many of them seem to possess a life of their own. Character designs for Sonic and his enemies are cartoony, but detailed enough to give each model individuality. Despite the, at times, blistering speed of the game, it is possible to take a step back and notice the slew of minute details the programmers threw in that really make this game shine. And who can forget the flashing, psychedelic backgrounds of the bonus stages? Even college didn't get that intense for me.

Sonic could have prevented this accidental enema if he had only PUT ON SOME PANTS.

Sound/Music: Sonic's soundboard is (understandably) fairly limited. Springs will "boing," rings will "bling," and so forth. The soundtrack consists of a number of plodding, synthesized loops that serve purely as background music. Nothing really memorable here, but in the grand scheme of things, sounds and songs are not what drives the Sonic experience.

Gameplay: When it first was released, Sonic the Hedgehog introduced a handful of fresh twists that made it quite a refreshing installment in the classic platformer market. Sonic still utilized the core platformer elements of "collect things" (in this case, golden rings, 100 of which granted the player an extra life) and "start stage, finish stage, kill boss." While the established ability set of walking, running, jumping, and swimming was also still present, the sheer speed of gameplay was amplified to unseen levels. The addition of springboards, tunnels, loops, as well as many other creative game mechanics not only placed an emphasis on dashing/rolling through a level in as little time as possible, but encouraged it. Even to this day, sprinting through a level in less than a minute is a thrill; however, in this great moment of innovation, Sonic also finds one of its more prominent drawbacks.

Unfortunately, following the action at such a ludicrous speed is quite difficult: dying due to a random pitfall or spike trap will happen frequently, and it's only through trial-and-error that these breakneck sequences can be truly mastered. Luckily for a majority of Sonic's levels, there are multiple, branching paths that vary in difficulty and utilize different play mechanics (for instance, one path may take you upwards, where you will have to dodge timed spike traps, whereas the bottom path will force you to navigate an underwater maze and fight for air). Power-ups also help increase your survival rate (such as limited shield or invincibility), as well as the unique "ring shield" feature: as long as you possess a single ring or more, you can survive *most* attacks without instantly dying.

Sonic also features some varied, interesting, and fun boss fights at the end of each of the six "zones" (each broken up into three "acts"), where simplistic strategy can be used to overcome Dr. Robotnik's evil inventions.

Sonic throws in some more variety through the use of bonus stages, which can be accessed by collecting over 50 rings in a level. Within these bonus stages, Sonic can collect extra continues (for use during an inevitable "Game Over") or a Chaos Emerald; collecting all six Chaos Emeralds will award the player with the game's "good" ending (although, in my opinion, going through the trouble is really not worth it).

Hurray, physics!

Overall: While the story and soundtrack are bare-bones as they come, Sonic the Hedgehog manages to produce a great experience through some really brilliant graphics and gameplay mechanics. For those of you whose childhoods were devoid of a Sega Genesis, picking up a copy of Sonic has become much simpler these days, with numerous reincarnations flooding the market. Despite Nintendo's takeover of Sega, Sonic has remained a staple in the world of iconic video game characters, and playing through this game again as an adult easily reminds me of why. While many of Sonic's sequels and spin-offs have improved on the original formula, one needs to keep in perspective that this is the game where it all started. For those of you unsure about this title, downloading a ROM of the original cartridge might prove to be a more cost-effective way of testing the waters (but I certainly don't encourage illegal downloading of any sort. No, definitely not me). Chances are, you're going to need the "save state" function to make it out alive, anyway.

Score (out of 10): 8.5